I don’t usually blog about Pop Culture, but I feel as though TMZ has been taking up so much of my time lately.  I owe it to the celebrities to get my opinions out there.  Since I’m feeling a little listy, it’s time for a TOP TEN SPREAD!  Yes.  So here are my top ten things in the pop culture news that have been on my mind…

10) Michael Jackson’s Kids Aren’t His
Really?  Did anyone think that a black man could have kids like that anyway?  Even before he died I knew they weren’t made of his swimmers.  Yea, I know he looks (looked?) like a white lady, but have you ever seen the Jackson 5?  Mikey is clearly a black man and those kids ain’t mixed.  The fact that anyone ever thought they were half-Mikey is what surprises me.  Don’t be stupid, we don’t have room for any more stupid on the planet.

9) Perez gets slugged.
Duh.  You talk smack about people, someone’s going to slug you eventually.  I’m not going to lie though, he had a good run.  He made it a lot longer talking trash than most people ever could.  And for that, he gets my applause.  I read his blog... I laugh at times… but the “getting nailed in the eye” part was kind of inevitable.  Has he never seen Boys in the Hood?  I don’t think I can say “duh” enough.  Don’t talk trash, won’t get slugged.  Simple.

8) Athletes in Pop Culture
Alright, I’m kind of excited that athletes are now Pop Culture sensations.  I don’t really have any examples in particular (although I’m thinking of a few), but I’m just glad I get to see what they’re up to off the field.  Mainly, I’m excited because that makes them easier to recognize on the street… or at sushi restaurants… or at Christmas Parties.  I can spit stats like nobody’s business, but recognize them without their game gear?  Impossible.  Next time, I won’t look like such a douche and think that he’s an accountant instead of a player.  My bad, Chad.

7) My Digital Converter Box
Alright… This may or may not relate to Pop Culture in your eyes, but it plays a huge part in my life.  I am no longer able to watch TMZ on TV.  This really pisses me off.  What used to come across as a semi-decent picture with no static noise is now a completely clear channel with a horrible humming sound.  It makes me angry.  And… well… I could only think of 9 things in Pop Culture that were blog worthy.

6) Beards
I don’t know about you, but I’m for ‘em.  I think they’re lovely.  Sometimes, if I’m really really bored, I’ll just google “beards.”  Playoff beards, bar beards, beards for life changes… It may be weird, but I think they’re pretty damn spiffy, and I’m going to promote that cause.  Besides, they’re way sweeter than those gross child-molesting-mustaches that are all the rage among funny guys these days.  I kissed a guy with a mustache once… I felt like I needed a shower.

5) The Bachelorette is a douche.
I used to like Jillian.  Really.  I did.  But, now she’s kind of a douche.  She let Jake go WAY too early.  Worse, she picked Wes over Jake.  Now, I realize that Wes may not actually be a bad guy and it may just be the editing, but he brought his guitar with him, and serenaded her.  Gag me.  That indicates to me that he’s a douche.  Well, I suppose they’re both douches, so maybe it’s a match made in ABC heaven.  But whatever, I’m over it.

4) Lady Gaga continues to look more stupid… Every day.
You remember that girl in high school that used to wear weird clothes to be “different.”  You know… the one that would wear thirty layers of mismatched crap and say that she’s just expressing herself, when in actuality you know that she’s just trying to hide her ugly by drawing attention to her clothes?  Well, Lady Gaga is what happens when that chick grows up and gets money.  I’m on to you, Lady. 

3) Jon and Kate Plus 8… plus the media… plus their fans… plus an annoyed me
I kind of liked the show.  I kind of liked the family.  I kind of liked Jon and Kate.  But when they started having marital problems, I didn’t like it being everywhere.  Here’s where I get a little out of character and become sympathetic.  This isn’t just a scripted television show.  This is reality.  Granted, it is reality TV, but it’s their LIVES.  Infidelity and divorce is not something that should be taken lightly, and it certainly shouldn’t be plastered everywhere for our enjoyment.  I say we leave them alone.  Please.

2) Transformers
Whoa… I never expected Megan Fox to draw that much money.  I always thought she was hot, but I never expected this.  Or maybe I have it all wrong.  Perhaps, Michael Bay has produced a wonderfully plotted and thought through film that will forever have a place in cinematic history.  Yea, right.  Who am I kidding?  I am never wrong.  I reckon I should wait until I see the movie to judge, but that just seems too fair.

1) Britney’s Comeback!
I know it hasn’t happened yet.  It seems like she’s just easing back into normalcy instead of dropping the Comeback Bomb on us.  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for it!  You know what I think?  I think her music is even better since her divorce and “episodes.”  She says it best, “It’s Britney, bitches.”  I’m sold.