Last football season, my roommate and I woke up on a Sunday just like we woke up every Sunday during season:  Early and with our game faces.  I rummaged through my week-old dirty clothes and dusted off my jersey.  We ate some breakfast tacos and headed down to the local sports bar to begin the tradition of sitting around drinking beer and watching pro ball all day. 

I am not entirely sure who the Vikings were playing that day, but I was intent.  I have no allegiance to any team outside of the Saints and the Packers, but I still have my allegiance to UT.  And every time Adrian Peterson touched the ball, I would throw my horns up and scream, “OU SUCKS!”  Needless to say, this embarrassed my roommate and caused her to say, “Danielle, college is over.  Let the rivalry die.”

Wait… what?!

That was the day I learned the true meaning of “t-shirt fans.” 

My hatred of OU began in high school.  I was a huge college football fan with no true allegiance to any team.  I was still trying to decide where I wanted to apply, and the merits of each.  When all of the sudden, an incredibly obnoxious classmate wearing a Sooner jersey marched into the room and proclaimed that Texas sucked.  Being in Texas, and knowing that Texas does not suck, I found that statement to be rather comical.  At the time, at least 70% of the OU roster was from Texas, and I felt that all of them were traitors.  I asked, “Doesn’t the fact that OU represents a shit-hole like Oklahoma negate that argument?”  He looked at me puzzled.  This made me aware of something that would stick with me for the rest of my life:  When discussing football with a Sooner, any argument that appeals to logic, reason, or statistics will be over their heads.  “BOOMER SOONER,” was his response.

So the rivalry began.

This disdain for anything Oklahoma was only perpetuated by the fact that everyone I have met who calls Oklahoma “home” tended to suck.  I can’t even imagine having pride in a university like that.  You can’t do anything with an OU degree except become a carnival worker or a football player.  Hell, if you’re not good at football, you better really freaking like cotton candy, or else you’re screwed. 

What the hell is a Sooner anyway, and why would they “Boom?”  Oh, nevermind.  I googled it.  Guess what… It sucks.

I suppose a little bit of this dislike for our northerly state comes from the fact that I used to live in north Texas, and every time we would have a northerly wind, our great land would be filled with the smell of old cheese.  Oklahoma always smells like cheese.  From border to border.  I know this because I’ve had to drive through it to get to better states, like Kansas. 

God help me if I ever have a beautiful son that decides he wants to go to OU.  But you know what?  That will never happen because my son would never look at the institution that is OU and decide that its educational merits warrant his time or my money.  Plus, I’d disown him because he would suck too. 

I went out on a few dates with a guy who went to OU.  You know what happened?  He sucked.  It’s true.  I can’t make this up. 

So make fun of me and my rivalry if you want.  I really don’t mind.  For true fans, rivalries never die.  Because when Bradford goes pro and gets put on his back by an ex-Texas lineman, I’m going to be the lone soldier at the bar with my horns in the air, proudly proclaiming, “OU SUCKS!”








Hook 'em.